A Twisted Knot in My Stomach

I have been having this issue for such a long time. It's really eating me inside. I want to get away from it but it seems like there isn't much i can do. It may require a personality overhaul but am i ready to do that. AND, am i capable of doing it after not having done it for so long. No one knows about this but one whom i share it with. That person can't help me and i am not helping myself. I need a change. i need to do something about it. I feel like it's really EATING ME INSIDE. Sometimes i am free of it and it is bliss but then at a certain point in time it strikes me down. I can and must overcome this. I must not look back i must push through full throttle. Blogging does help, i don't pour it out but somehow it helps. I can tell no one. No one will understand but a few and no one will believe. There will be scepticism and betrayal. I don't think any of you will be able to make sense of this but it is but what has made me feel down today and in need of some cheering up. Thanks all of you who were such good frens to comfort me!